Neptune’s muse

I’m beside
the seaside
On my inside
and it’s all too clear

I’ve got to get out of here

My core sways
All day
And I churn with the waves

It’s the only way

I am glitter wet
A rhythmic crash
A force unabashed

And my poor heart swims
Fed by the channels
Of a land I forgot

This is all I’ve got

droplets, caught
in an inverted bowl
every puddle, whole

I rage and splash
lick and swell, consistenly
pulsing steadily

can’t help but be

Neptune’s muse
neptunes muse

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Published in: on September 5, 2017 at 11:46 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Ruins

Crown of boulders
On your head
You’re dead inside

Your neck
A pillar hollowed dry
Where your feelings tried

To claw their way out
Force open your maw
That has petrified

Streams of tears
Long as interstates
Mark you

Like maps
Tattered in darkest
Gloveboxes

You loss is mine
You’ve lost your shine
And won’t again

All beauty is in ruins
And if you look
With naked eyes

The faint cracks detail
ancient struggle
A will forsaken

An ignored landscape
Suffocation
And ultimately

Resignation

These days
You wouldn’t mind
Some lava flows
A retweet
Or a birthday card

But it’s to hard with
All those boulders

On your crown

Published in: on May 10, 2017 at 11:38 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Taken

I'm being stripped of everything 
And I want nothing left to take
Nothing left to guard
 That's what is hard

To have something they want
And watch as they misuse it
 All the white-teethed family portraits

Are exposed through a wash
Of intentional obliviousness
 You can't be blindsided when you're blind-sighted

But I'm awake, and I see
What it seizes
 And I cease to freeze and become the numb end of a heist

I'm not gonna fight.
I'm gonna throw the match
Published in: on May 5, 2017 at 12:56 am  Leave a Comment  
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Maraschino Tombstone Lover

I’ve been holding myself tight

Waiting for you to take a bite outta meh

Knock all that talk of dichotomy

I want you to have the whole lot of me

Let’s fuck our way into eternity

I’m no fiduciary seduciary

I’m more a “let’s me and you get buried”

Type, but I’m kinda wary. I forgot

To put the cherry

On top

Published in: on January 18, 2017 at 1:29 am  Leave a Comment  
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4am

A thick ribbon of white lights
Cascades from the valley
Transporting regret
Each passenger, a slave
Burning into reluctant Monday

But I’m brave
Heading the other way
Descending into
My fleeting black
A determined fool
Glistening with weekend butter
Better for sliding in to home
Dirty pants, romanced, gold

Those vessels of empty soul
Carting themselves forward
For goods they barely touch
Wolfing down a hasty lunch
Chasing remnants of light

They haven’t learned
Enough by answering clocks
And emails
Except how to line up real nice
And shuffle slowly to
their demise

Published in: on May 8, 2016 at 7:52 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Soundless Thoughts

To bed with me, and that wild soundlessness in my head.
A mental rinse cycle agitating in its canister, silent, and voracious,
An abstract blender of subconscious unknown to the clueless bystander world.

I’m gone far, in the vacuum of thought, dreams
Where screams don’t echo
and whispers don’t float

But light, and idea, yes
They are quick and direct,
shifting, racing
intersecting
everything coalescing,
grids and planes,
bright eyes and laser beams
paisleys in cream
revolving, rotating
floatating

Thought does not make a sound
And the deaf world does not understand
why I am damned:

All night, I slumber
headlong full
of a psychedelic circus
buzzing circuits
and to no wonder,
wake exhausted

Published in: on March 11, 2016 at 2:33 am  Leave a Comment  
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Femme Fatale

This was written over the course of a few years. Link back to parts 1 & 2.

I.
Her beauty is imminent danger:
Ringlets tailspin from her head
dive bomb and crash into her shoulders
A collarbone set like a bear trap
Dagger sharp nails soaked in victim red
Her tsunami sway hips’ destructive tides
Quicksand lips and a tongue like a whip
Lead pipe legs that blind with their glisten
Piercing eyes that break skin
drawing blood from your heart
to the surface by tiny pinpricks
Lampshade fringe eyelashes
luring the moths
Cannonball breasts ready to ignite
And the hourglass figure that warned you
Your time is almost up!

II.
It’s too late,
her allure has lured you in
your reflection,
now forever fixed in her eyes;
a prisonly prism
that will not look away,
and while she sways
Every touch, evidence,
fingerprints she will lift with her powder brush
Those bombshell bosoms
close enough,
you hear the ticking
and you know
it is not her black heart
When your hand reaches the top
of that satin slit
and her garter clicks,
you will know
“This is it”.

III.
A private dick can’t resist
A femme fatale
Her ether sweet perfume
Intoxicant undetected by all
Right under your nose
A big sleep
Going deep and succumbed
The revolver draws
The squeeze trigger eyes
The cold lead thighs
Solve the crime of your demise
That dame can detonate
Without a hair misplaced
Leaving parts of you all over the scene
Darkened alleys narrowing
To a peeping pinhole vanishing… gone
And on her skin, colder than the rain licked sidewalks
And gutter grate-mouths, cigarette-steaming
The clue you missed, somehow, but now
You are a snuffed spliff
Just another missing stiff,
Wrapped in fishnets
And swimming with fish
All because of that deep, red kiss

femme_fatale

Published in: on December 27, 2015 at 3:28 pm  Leave a Comment  

Volunteer

On my first breath
I was a mess
you were absent forever
I drank absinthe and ether
every addict is running from something
but I stayed put
and was sorry
everything ran from me

I often played alone
it was house, never home
while you were chasing approval
I chased yours
and now I don’t know how to stay still
I stay busy
My haste makes the wind of that first breath

I made sacrifices to nothingness
And slaved to empty husband and children
Woke up old and tired
ready to slave
to the everythingness
ready to run toward something
that I can give to
that gives back
whose arms circle around me, as I theirs
closing the loop
of linear marathons
that go to nowhereness

Published in: on December 13, 2015 at 3:50 am  Leave a Comment  
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Given Up

That Saturday morning Dad went to rest
forever on his old bed
and that old mattress,
I was in the kitchen
cleaning the waffle iron.
It wasn’t as much a mess
As I was when I learned too late
He’d Gone

The heat of the Tucson sun
blasted through the dining window
scattering to the walls from the chandelier
turning the room into a frightening scene
of fleeing spirits rising
like lava lamp ghosts,
invisibly higher
and I wondered if the sun
could just be a crystal in
a bigger chandelier;
another light source behind it.

I cried in the closet that day
with the Samurai sword, old leather jacket,
boxing glove, and bowling ball.
The grief took me too hard
to realize that I now had to find homes
for all these orphaned possessions,
But not hard enough to realize
I would never find
home for myself again.

Published in: on December 13, 2015 at 1:39 am  Leave a Comment  
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fortune Teller

In the future we will travel
vacuumed like money is in tubes now
because we have become nothing
but assets for our government

intelitubediagram

Published in: on December 13, 2015 at 1:37 am  Leave a Comment  
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No hiss

There hung a single icicle
puncturing the pregnant moon, sinking

I came to pray to the night,
give my winter confession,
whisper visible breath
in hopes the silence would steal it
and I knew it would
because the moon, she made it far enough
to escape the chill that would expose
her leaking air;
the sound already stolen away

The round world will never know tonight, we deflated, you and I.

1459370700

Published in: on December 13, 2015 at 1:27 am  Leave a Comment  
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Sparrow

if you feel little
think upon the brave sparrow
fly and rise above

Published in: on December 13, 2015 at 1:24 am  Leave a Comment  
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I wasn’t your first mistake

I wasn’t your first mistake
But I was the one that lasted longest
I was 10 weeks gestated
When you were doing bong hits

When I arrived, slipping, oozing
out your cold crack
you put down the pipe long enough
to kindly ask to send me back

When you screw-up and close your eyes
Sometimes problems go away.
You’ve got a few souvenir scars
But I am the biggest, by far…

You’ve spent my whole life
wishing penises had eraser tips
And you feel gyped that you
Didn’t learn anything from all of it

Thought I’d worry about being a disappointment?
Nah, I think you got this
I was late to your personal party
And I ruined it

There’s a lot of rue in your gret
But the re- hasn’t happened yet
Most of the crap you’d do all over again
But I was doo you would’ve held in

 

Published in: on August 17, 2015 at 9:58 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Insolvent

I’m always writing things I gotta do under your name
But I crossed you off the list long ago
Now I’m too tired to cry
Every time I forget you
Your ghost makes a mess
Do you think I look good in distress?

I try to handle my business
But it just goes right through my hands
Grabbing light isn’t easy
When you gotta keep your fists ready
And I’m ready to lay down the pen
I’m too tired to write
I tried to let go
My hands couldn’t clutch
So much

Getting paid to solve problems
I’m working to make everything work
But you were the problem that got away
A solution made of alcohol and apathy
An apothecary of sociopathy.
Now I’m too tired to care
I gave up and let everything happen
The result is inevitable:
I’m still not the one who’s a vegetable

If we were to count
On all the broken promises
And see the negatives you’ve conjured
I’d say you’re already underground
And I’m not going to cry
But I’ll help pack the dirt
For the ceremony
In lieu of alimony

Scheduled Solitude

You guys are doing a good job of leaving me alone
There’s a code for those that know
You only give to the ones that show
And, oh, how quiet it’s grown

The rsvps unanswered
The promises, then the cancels
All appointments go in pencil
I feel so reprehensible

If I count on those that are accountable
The sum would come to doubtible
The deficits are insurmountable
For good friends are just not bountiful

We are made to feel rejected
If no human contact is inflected
But what if I elected
my time, my own,
To embrace introspection?

Here am I at the ready!
I am punctual. I am steady
It’s hard to be regretting
Having a good friend in myself

Published in: on August 5, 2015 at 12:03 pm  Comments (1)  
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Possession

He would wait in bed

like a dog waits next to an empty bowl

He would gobble, chew, and slobber

After 10 cocktails, he wasn’t worth the bother

After 16 years on top of me

a final hit to the crotch

and I got free

He was the last possession I had

A thing I wanted so bad

and it turned out it was bad

Published in: on April 13, 2015 at 10:50 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Rainstorming

You're gonna come down in sheets 
And I'm gonna take it
Because I need it
It's a reluctant pummeling
It's a rejoice with a relapse
Sick gray daze
hazes of rain
beating me, bathing me
scathing frigidity
drifting over me

I measure in inches
what you've given
gathered sand 
to keep you at bay
and pray for more
I've raided stores
And boarded up
for your arrival

Come to me
Flood my streets
I'm gonna curse
And vow 
to sleep through it all
but I'll admit,
I am enthralled
watching and waiting
for the onslaught
peeking through curtains
watching puddles turn 
to lakes turn to seas of 
all that we need
and I will squeal
"Please let up."

And it will pound on
until it's done.

You could always get more than you can handle and be grateful for it.
Published in: on December 13, 2014 at 4:21 am  Leave a Comment  
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The Future

In a few minutes

we will have wasted a few more

looking at the black spot

just beyond the headlights,

waiting for things

to come into view,

waiting for good things to come,

waiting for the future to arrive

at gate B42

and greet it with hugs

as if it will be different

than the last time we waited

for something to arrive,

forgetting once we can see it,

we are bored.

In a few minutes

we will do things

that have been done before

feel feelings

that have been felt before,

but with different objects around us.

We will charge forward

holding remnants of familiarity,

answering to routine

and perhaps foreign traffic

coming in, and talk about it

as if we know what it is

before it arrives;

as if we are sudden clairvoyants

without an ego-biased agenda.

In a few minutes

we will realize that all

of anything coming or went

may be a another version

of something

that has happened before

and the only true distinction is

our individual

human

experience…

which is now.

On the same Page

On the same page 12.10.14

Yard Sailor

I’m going to set sail on a long, long trip
Wherein I will lose sight of this land
And before I set sail, there’s a sale
Wherein I sell all, save for my soul
For without these, I am whole
This is my goal

Every worthless piece of junk,
Every memory laden trinket
Are just the same, things we’ve named
Assigned some life, some use, some space
And adorned our homes with decorous grace
For staged comforts set before our face.

My assets set out for rats to nibble at
in twenty-five cent increments
Each knick-knack sold, a fraying fiber
Of the rope that holds me to the dock
“Why, yes that Christmas tree is flocked!”
“I’m going cheap on that wok.”

Legos, lei goes, I’m letting go
Casting off weight and severing rope
Pushing off from all umbilical
Carnivore material vines that keep me drowning
On the soil that feels like grounding
Sell the yard and the surroundings

Hit the water, smooth and forgiving
Freer than the seabirds that place shiny things in their nests
It is possible to say that I am blessed
When I have nothing
Not even the anchor.

Published in: on November 5, 2014 at 9:11 pm  Comments (2)  
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