Rut

Familiarity can be a trap
and it’s scary
how easily my form has taken shape
wedging snugly in that groove
when all I want
is something healthy, something new

Like rain riding gravity to the lowest point,
I slide into
The cracks I knew
The way my fingers bend around you
Into the soft spot near your elbow, the folds behind your neck,
The valley where your hip meets thigh

When it just seems so snug
Don’t be deceived
Habits also come with
The ease that feels like
A good thing
But you’re just falling
Lulled into another place you thought you know
My synapses have this map
Of his musk
The touch that begs a trail
To the bed
The glacier tracing folds and ravines
Unseen

And I can’t rightly say
That I know the strength
Of finding another way, to
Head up and learn anew
A new route
To forge through and find a peak
That gets me.

I want to dangle off the side
Stay in sight and
Excitedly keep trying and failing
Let my rough edges fray
And dance on slipping tectonic plates
Gaining all the wind, the bewilderment
My mind stretching to see new things
No matter where it goes
Hands searching unfounded territory
Tangling my nails in messes of his hair
With fistfuls of flesh
Grappling to stay on
I will see where it takes me

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Published in: on April 4, 2019 at 12:23 am  Leave a Comment  
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Syntax

The syntax in my fingers
Has become unbearably more
Than autocorrect can handle

I fumble and twitch
To the tune of clumsy anxiety
My notoriety is confusion

My digits dance
In epileptic fits
Every keyboard, an alphabetic disco floor
Waiting to be defiled

The erroneous strokes
Evoke a joke
That says my phalanges
Are broke

Published in: on January 27, 2019 at 11:19 pm  Comments (2)  
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