VOID

I will fill the void you left with something else
Fill the void with merriment and revelry
Merriment and maybe tv, if no one thinks of me
If no one thinks I’m worth a shot
I’m worth a shot right through the heart
Right through the silence in my room
The silence in things we assume
Things we assume about each other go wrong
I’ve got it wrong, dude, I know that song
But I know that songs keep me here
Keep me here and feeling SO much
Feeling so much love with nowhere to go
Nowhere, no one to take my joy inside
Taking my joy and leaving it to rust outside
Leaving it to them, I’d be floundering
I’d be fonder if we were encountering
We were encountering understanding of humanity, I thought
And I understand humanity has a way of getting lost
Getting lost in safeguarding themselves, then will pose as trolls
Safeguarding themselves with gossip for fools
For foolsake I even liked those girls
Like those girls, I’ve been torn down
I’ve been torn between forgiveness and doubt
And I doubt much will change with this poem
Much will change when we don’t have room left in that void
We don’t have room for cruelty and fortresses
Cruelty that forces us to hide from those that hurt us
Hide from the hurt that comes from letting anything in
I’m letting in all the wash of feelings
The wash that fills my void with suds and love
My void is brimming with so much
With so much of what could be
What could be nicer is if we had lunch
If we had time to listen to the hiss of air leaving that empty pit
Leaving that empty pit full, like a fruit basket
Full like a well fed beast who is content to dream
I’m content to dream this space to it’s brim
This space will be served until then
Until then, think about self-preservation,
But be selfless in your reservations

No one should feel empty
Hug somebody soon

Advertisements
Published in: on January 28, 2019 at 1:57 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Big lots

I’m an ugly brand of cursed
I don’t know which is worse
The flimsy packaging
Or the aftertaste

Rebrand me all you try
I’m not selling out
A product of a fired staff
I’m a dream that should have died

I’m not hard to open
I haven’t gone stale
I haven’t expired
But I’m tired

Just a weird concept
Pushed into production
Devalued
And waiting to be free

Published in: on April 13, 2018 at 12:56 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Volunteer

On my first breath
I was a mess
you were absent forever
I drank absinthe and ether
every addict is running from something
but I stayed put
and was sorry
everything ran from me

I often played alone
it was house, never home
while you were chasing approval
I chased yours
and now I don’t know how to stay still
I stay busy
My haste makes the wind of that first breath

I made sacrifices to nothingness
And slaved to empty husband and children
Woke up old and tired
ready to slave
to the everythingness
ready to run toward something
that I can give to
that gives back
whose arms circle around me, as I theirs
closing the loop
of linear marathons
that go to nowhereness

Published in: on December 13, 2015 at 3:50 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Scheduled Solitude

You guys are doing a good job of leaving me alone
There’s a code for those that know
You only give to the ones that show
And, oh, how quiet it’s grown

The rsvps unanswered
The promises, then the cancels
All appointments go in pencil
I feel so reprehensible

If I count on those that are accountable
The sum would come to doubtible
The deficits are insurmountable
For good friends are just not bountiful

We are made to feel rejected
If no human contact is inflected
But what if I elected
my time, my own,
To embrace introspection?

Here am I at the ready!
I am punctual. I am steady
It’s hard to be regretting
Having a good friend in myself

Published in: on August 5, 2015 at 12:03 pm  Comments (1)  
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Sitcom Lies

The sky was BLACK as cheese…
 
and you said you couldn’t respect me
if I wasn’t HONEST
 
and I said YOU watch tv all the time
 
And cheese COULD be that black if you leave it alone long enough
which is what you’ve done with me.
 
 
 
Published in: on May 29, 2014 at 11:53 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Boarding up my windows

To prepare myself for winter

I am boarding up my windows,

filling my pantry,

compacting my bones

so moisture cannot

penetrate the joints.

The world will forget me more

but I am resolved to

avert the chill

with hunkered down loneliness,

oceans of tea,

fleece swathed solidarity.

Removed from frigidity

I am stone

alone

with my CB radio and scanner

leaning close

listening for chatter

flares and afghans at hand

in case the roof caves

If you find me in the thaw

Put a can opener to my lips

To hear the hiss and murmur

Of  secrets lonely women hold

In their ever sliding glacial hearts

There are storms no one can endure

And measures that are never enough

To save a home without love.

Published in: on January 14, 2012 at 10:53 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , ,

White Elephant

In fits of desperation,

I cordon off parts of my soul,

extract them and tie them up

in pretty packages for people

I want to bribe into being my friends.

I call it poetry.

Published in: on January 17, 2011 at 12:12 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: ,

Happy Birthday

Everything’s on cue

you wouldn’t know what to

if I told you

The annual let down,

the frown

is coming around

I’m all anointed

in the disappointed

I’m appointed

to be alone

in a clattered home

and write these poems

to get relief

from unchecked grief

and ignored beefs

It’s another year

and I’m still here

on the same tier

assumed to have provisions

but the incisions

show derision

I will display

and communicate

a need for an embrace

Alas, I am nobody’s princess and

just tissue wrapped crimson

my birthdays are just lonesome

I am a reflection

of decades of disconnection

and rejection

I can’t help but to think it’s my own fault.

Published in: on November 15, 2010 at 12:10 am  Comments (1)  
Tags: , ,
%d bloggers like this: