ICU

I see you
You show me pictures of how you used to be
And I don’t care
I don’t care that you’ve changed because I’m here with you now
And still, I love you
I, too, look back and long for the me
Before the damage
I understand.
But I can’t stay there
And neither should you

I look at pictures
to remind me how good I’ve had it
And how I can make new ones to joyfully reflect on
As the arbiter of my life
I have sought and carried out
disseminating seeds of joy
For future me,
Who should love memory
Without bitterness

Do we not know that things wear and break?
And someday everything will have once been better?
When you lose control of what is happening to you
Gain it in another area
The person you were is still buried below your altered surface
And you don’t need a picture
to show me who you were
I see you

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Published in: on January 25, 2019 at 2:15 am  Leave a Comment  
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Static Screen

Some downpours are percussion
So fierce I confuse it for static hum
The world around me crackling so hard with black and white
That it has washed over in gray blur
It stirs in me a discontent
The white noise dampening my senses
My bones buzzing in winces
It’s an electric fence that keeps me aching stone still
Until I trance-walk into that ghastly screen,
Dripping, dissipating, fragmented, unseen
I will sing with the fuzz
The incessant tap dance of wet haze,
Until I melt into rhythm, swallow hard… erase

Published in: on April 20, 2018 at 9:16 pm  Comments (1)  
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Ruins

Crown of boulders
On your head
You’re dead inside

Your neck
A pillar hollowed dry
Where your feelings tried

To claw their way out
Force open your maw
That has petrified

Streams of tears
Long as interstates
Mark you

Like maps
Tattered in darkest
Gloveboxes

You loss is mine
You’ve lost your shine
And won’t again

All beauty is in ruins
And if you look
With naked eyes

The faint cracks detail
ancient struggle
A will forsaken

An ignored landscape
Suffocation
And ultimately

Resignation

These days
You wouldn’t mind
Some lava flows
A retweet
Or a birthday card

But it’s to hard with
All those boulders

On your crown

Published in: on May 10, 2017 at 11:38 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Fair-weather Friend

My joy is gone
with the sun
but was that me at all?
My woeful winter
could be my center
My fair-weather friend,
leads me on.
  
All the fancies and the foils
those sweltering nights encourage
leave me when frost bites hard.
The lump that’s left
is the real me, I guess
That boisterous party girl
is a facade 
built by summer’s
glimmer-prismic holographs.
  
She cares not 
about the worries
in my frigid core,
that fair-weather friend,
damned doppelganger.
Reports say she’s South,
basking in radiance
while I am here 
crawling through fog 
and puddles
of quiet sorrow.
 
I know she returns
because I give her substance,
soul;
and I tolerate her
so I can be included
in the follies of
unfledged communes.
 
 So pathetic and dismal am I
that half of me leaves
for half of the year.
Published in: on November 24, 2011 at 11:12 pm  Leave a Comment  
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I’m a crappy gift, and you’re the gift wrap

I wanna drink this down hard and fast

feel it hit my sour tummy

and wrap myself all up in you.

I am so sad

and feel like going on a rampage

no, a binge

of self-destruction

and some soft lips

a warm blanket

and a little comfort may help me forget

whatever it is that is bringing me down.

Published in: on December 7, 2009 at 11:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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