Remote

You left me turned on
Neon in the frozen dawn
Static buzzing
You wake
To turn my knob
And leave me alone again
Still a hum
Lingering fuzz
Spark, crackle, fade
Wait wait wait

On, again
You watch me, intently
Silently squint at me
Then I’m ignored,
Your throat roars
You never touched me
Back to static
My electricity:
Pulsing automatic
My dumb white noises:
Background lullabies

Off again,
Staring with my black eye
Is it guilt or laziness that brings you by?
I see you splayed
And that thing in your hand
Scanning disinterestedly through
My content
And you somehow come to me
Nightly, still
Not to touch,
But only see
Until you fall asleep,
Repeat

I just wish
You would touch me
Turn me on
These buttons have not been poked for so long
I swear, I’ll glitch
To get a hard smack
I’d take that
And give you free pay-per-view
Push.
MY..
Buttons…

Published in: on January 30, 2019 at 9:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
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VOID

I will fill the void you left with something else
Fill the void with merriment and revelry
Merriment and maybe tv, if no one thinks of me
If no one thinks I’m worth a shot
I’m worth a shot right through the heart
Right through the silence in my room
The silence in things we assume
Things we assume about each other go wrong
I’ve got it wrong, dude, I know that song
But I know that songs keep me here
Keep me here and feeling SO much
Feeling so much love with nowhere to go
Nowhere, no one to take my joy inside
Taking my joy and leaving it to rust outside
Leaving it to them, I’d be floundering
I’d be fonder if we were encountering
We were encountering understanding of humanity, I thought
And I understand humanity has a way of getting lost
Getting lost in safeguarding themselves, then will pose as trolls
Safeguarding themselves with gossip for fools
For foolsake I even liked those girls
Like those girls, I’ve been torn down
I’ve been torn between forgiveness and doubt
And I doubt much will change with this poem
Much will change when we don’t have room left in that void
We don’t have room for cruelty and fortresses
Cruelty that forces us to hide from those that hurt us
Hide from the hurt that comes from letting anything in
I’m letting in all the wash of feelings
The wash that fills my void with suds and love
My void is brimming with so much
With so much of what could be
What could be nicer is if we had lunch
If we had time to listen to the hiss of air leaving that empty pit
Leaving that empty pit full, like a fruit basket
Full like a well fed beast who is content to dream
I’m content to dream this space to it’s brim
This space will be served until then
Until then, think about self-preservation,
But be selfless in your reservations

No one should feel empty
Hug somebody soon

Published in: on January 28, 2019 at 1:57 am  Comments (1)  
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Syntax

The syntax in my fingers
Has become unbearably more
Than autocorrect can handle

I fumble and twitch
To the tune of clumsy anxiety
My notoriety is confusion

My digits dance
In epileptic fits
Every keyboard, an alphabetic disco floor
Waiting to be defiled

The erroneous strokes
Evoke a joke
That says my phalanges
Are broke

Published in: on January 27, 2019 at 11:19 pm  Comments (2)  
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ICU

I see you
You show me pictures of how you used to be
And I don’t care
I don’t care that you’ve changed because I’m here with you now
And still, I love you
I, too, look back and long for the me
Before the damage
I understand.
But I can’t stay there
And neither should you

I look at pictures
to remind me how good I’ve had it
And how I can make new ones to joyfully reflect on
As the arbiter of my life
I have sought and carried out
disseminating seeds of joy
For future me,
Who should love memory
Without bitterness

Do we not know that things wear and break?
And someday everything will have once been better?
When you lose control of what is happening to you
Gain it in another area
The person you were is still buried below your altered surface
And you don’t need a picture
to show me who you were
I see you

Published in: on January 25, 2019 at 2:15 am  Leave a Comment  
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Melt

Our first kiss:
my lips wrapped in tinfoil

paper ticker-tape candy fortune
trailing out in small blue lettering
foretelling the things I want to do to you;
the way I want your heat
to meet
my chocolate interior and melt through
until the sweetness is thick over your tongue
spazzing uvula can’t stay where it’s hung
if the warm rush comes
and you swallow the flood
of my tinseled gift confection;
in your palm,
I am ready to be unwrapped

Published in: on January 24, 2019 at 7:53 pm  Comments (1)  
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Accidental Burial at Sea

I lower cased until I CAPSIZED
Adrift and split
Eyes narrowing
It drank me like tea at sunrise
Abyssmal kiss
I stared too long and fell in
And whole!; descending…
The ephemeral throat could gargle me
Salt sterile
We’ll find out which beastly fish are feral
I’m a feast of goo
Scraping the floors of liquid limbo
Sway dancing in my gelatinous ignorance
Dismantling one bite at a time
Just like all my days before
But now,
I’m already gone and don’t care
This is the last meal

Give me coral reef ribs
And lurking crabs in my skull
I give thanks to
The pall-bearing aqua layers
That buried me soft
And the pinhole of light;
My last sight
When I made peace
With the deep

Published in: on January 12, 2019 at 12:50 am  Comments (3)  
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