I wasn’t your first mistake

I wasn’t your first mistake
But I was the one that lasted longest
I was 10 weeks gestated
When you were doing bong hits

When I arrived, slipping, oozing
out your cold crack
you put down the pipe long enough
to kindly ask to send me back

When you screw-up and close your eyes
Sometimes problems go away.
You’ve got a few souvenir scars
But I am the biggest, by far…

You’ve spent my whole life
wishing penises had eraser tips
And you feel gyped that you
Didn’t learn anything from all of it

Thought I’d worry about being a disappointment?
Nah, I think you got this
I was late to your personal party
And I ruined it

There’s a lot of rue in your gret
But the re- hasn’t happened yet
Most of the crap you’d do all over again
But I was doo you would’ve held in

 

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Insolvent

I’m always writing things I gotta do under your name
But I crossed you off the list long ago
Now I’m too tired to cry
Every time I forget you
Your ghost makes a mess
Do you think I look good in distress?

I try to handle my business
But it just goes right through my hands
Grabbing light isn’t easy
When you gotta keep your fists ready
And I’m ready to lay down the pen
I’m too tired to write
I tried to let go
My hands couldn’t clutch
So much

Getting paid to solve problems
I’m working to make everything work
But you were the problem that got away
A solution made of alcohol and apathy
An apothecary of sociopathy.
Now I’m too tired to care
I gave up and let everything happen
The result is inevitable:
I’m still not the one who’s a vegetable

If we were to count
On all the broken promises
And see the negatives you’ve conjured
I’d say you’re already underground
And I’m not going to cry
But I’ll help pack the dirt
For the ceremony
In lieu of alimony

Scheduled Solitude

You guys are doing a good job of leaving me alone
There’s a code for those that know
You only give to the ones that show
And, oh, how quiet it’s grown

The rsvps unanswered
The promises, then the cancels
All appointments go in pencil
I feel so reprehensible

If I count on those that are accountable
The sum would come to doubtible
The deficits are insurmountable
For good friends are just not bountiful

We are made to feel rejected
If no human contact is inflected
But what if I elected
my time, my own,
To embrace introspection?

Here am I at the ready!
I am punctual. I am steady
It’s hard to be regretting
Having a good friend in myself