Learning to be a competant breather

Life is as hard as diamonds and cuts like them too. But if you slice a diamond just right, that rock can sparkle. For most, life is a longing for that sparkle.

We spend long hours in dusky air-choked mine-shafts looking for that glimmer of hope. Statistically, it eludes us and we settle for some nicely polished granite stones engraved with our names.

Then, there are the few who see the sparkle within themselves. There is no longing or searching. They have dumped the contents of their soul onto the proverbial floor, surveyed the goods and have determined that what they see is everything they’ll ever need.

They exist in the moment. When life gets hard and cuts, they take a cue from time, knowing they can only live in each second. They understand their enigmatic human body is designed to heal from the inside out. Living isn’t any easier for them as it is for anybody else, but their realization carries them a long way. Such a person hardly cares about polished granite stones.

I surmise those who search don’t think too fondly of those who just exist. Perhaps someone who is content to merely exist has actions, motives and words that are foreign to the Searchers. The Searchers must think, “What fool can be happy with so little? They should be trying as hard as I am. You haven’t found anything and shouldn’t stop now.” A frantic person does not appreciate a person who is still. Ask a person who is about to be late and has lost their keys if they think they will still be alive in 45 minutes.

I know a woman. She has the good sense to know she had that sparkle inside. Searchers pull her like taffy and guilt her into their dank lair, not for the sake of appreciated company, but to rid themselves of their own misgivings about their fruitless quest.

I try to understand the Searchers motives:

“To be okay with myself, I must validate that the way I live is right. Therefore, if someone is doing it differently, they must be doing it wrong. I will feel better about myself if I point this out and save them from their erroneous ways. I cannot bear the thought that they might be living the right way, let alone better than me. Because I am showing them the way life ought to be, in a way, it will be like saving them. I am a hero for having tried.”

It’s another fruitless pursuit, Searchers. Once an Exister has discovered the art of being, that awareness cannot be undone, only forgotten. The most vanquished soul is an Exister who has lost their way. They have resigned to searching but are unconsciously awaiting instructions as to what the prize actually is. It is absolute unnerving futility and it leads to inexplicable madness.

The woman I know will remember the sparkle. Unfortunately, it may require an earthquake that ruins the very foundation that supports her, reducing it to smithereens.

Buildings will crash around her like plaster waves, scattering their pulverant debris in the typewriter ribbon streets; sin sitting in knots in the pits of the bellies of all the victims- merely lost souls who never found their gem. She’s never willfully brought harm to anyone, but she will initially feel like a roach- alive and despised.

She is not a heroine.

But alas! She is! She breathes!

When she rises like a phoenix from the disheveled mess around her, bewildered and distressed, her clothes, strips of muslin hanging loosely from her frame, ragged and mangled like a ship’s sails; she will not be remembered for valor and fortitude. She did not perform a feat of incredible strength or save a fellow man’s life, let alone a kitten. She will be momentarily regarded simply because she clawed her way from the rubble and chose to stand up. Her victory will be in the modest effort she made to continue breathing when she could have sacrificed herself to despair.

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” ~Japanese Proverb

Published in: on April 15, 2010 at 12:09 am  Comments (5)  
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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Blasted existers.

    Oddly, most religious philosophies and psychological therapy techniques avidly teach the importance of living in the moment as a source for living and happiness.

    I realized after forfeiting all my stuff so I could move here that trying to cling to things and searching is pointless; time keeps rolling forward, and nothing is that important that is to be found or kept, because you can’t take it with you when you go anyhow.

  2. An interesting thing I’ve noticed about Existers; though they seem not to be seekers in the exterior world (physical realm), they are seekers in the mental world (realm of philosophy). Existers tend to be thinkers, at least that’s how it appears to me. One might even argue that while they could appear more “together” than the seekers, more happy, they are just a little further down the road to enlightenment than physical seekers.

    Very interesting. You’ve given me a new way to look at something rather interesting. Thank you, Nora.

    • I do love me some civil discourse! 🙂
      Does thinking always have to be seeking? A romp in the mental world can be purely exploratory, and without the need to come to conclusions or to seek something greater. It’s like a trampoline for me. It’s a good bounce with no finish line required.

      You imply that the physical seekers are even on the road to enlightenment, but just further behind. Son, have you been out in the world? I’ve met people who are all about clamoring their way up the social ladder. Some’s lives are centered around the thrills of the newest Xbox version or trampling humans to get said possession on Black Friday. They’re not on the path to enlightenment. There’s a heap of jackmorons and intellectuals alike who are seekers. And although they are probably far and few between, I’ll bet that there are a handful of non-intellectual existers. Some Gomer Pile on his porch whittlin’ on a piece of wood and drinkin’ some sweet tea can be quite content with his plot in this world, and still not be the brightest bulb in the shed.

      Although envy, jealousy and such are natural human emotions, and occur in remote tribes, I’m gonna put a bulk of the blame for the culture of seekers in my hemisphere squarely on the media. “You need more stuff.” “You need the approval of your friends to be comfortable with yourself. Live according to what will make them like you better.” It’s the vaccination that comes with boosters every minute on the minute.

      Those of us living in the civilized world who attempt to be existers may find that the path to enlightenment is on the razor’s edge. And additionally-the path to enlightenment stretches to infinity. It’s best to understand that enlightenment is in every inch in the path. There is no pursuit, there is no end. Have a seat, say “Ohm” and wait for the wave of understanding to wash over you like a rogue wave of sheer nirvana.

  3. I like it.

    Unfortunately, Existers still have to Do. They don’t continue to seek misguidedly… but they are not allowed to sit on their laurels or lotus flower or granite rock and just be. Unless, that is, they have won the lottery.

    Don’t blame the media. It goes back further. The growth of a nation is measured in Gross National Product. That means, plainly, that as we go forth in time, we’d better be buying more stuff every day of every week of every year, or else we are stagnating or receding as a nation. And if that happens, things get very fucked up. Therefore, the antidote to fucking up America in the national sense, is to fuck with each American’s mind individually. Because it’s patriotic to buy stuff, even if they have to mind-fuck you to get you to do it. Fuck.

    So then, are the Existers the ones who see what a madhouse it is and find a way to bow out? And who is this Phoenix rising from the plastery ashes? Sounds kind of cool at first, but the details, those people who get hurt inadvertently, they are always there, aren’t they. It’s not her fault. You have a very keen inner eye, Miss Nora.

  4. they call me the seeker, Miss Nora Noir…..I’ve been searchin’ low & high


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