Priming for the kill

“The New Year is more than a fresh start; instead it is rather a gradual conditioning of ends, preparing us for the eventuality of our own death.”

A lot had gone through my mind when I wrote the quote above.

Why January 1st? Other cultures have other dates to celebrate a new year.

The actual day seems so superfluous. How is one new day newer than the new day you were just given the day before?

The beginning of a new year is not about starting over. Anyone who has made a resolution can attest to the attempt at a fresh start that only results in abject failure and the return to usual habits. We need endings just as much as we need beginnings. This is why the ball DROPS. And because most fail to see opportunity in ending and beginning every morning when the sun rises and our feet hit the ground, it has to be done in a lavish and attention grabbing way such as wearing sparkly clothes, getting wasted with your friends and for the rednecks in my area, maybe blowing something up. We aren’t celebrating an uncertain future. We’re burying the past and sending it off with a bang. Auld Lang Syne is the funeral dirge for Father Time.

Government and business need to close their books. We need a sense of finality in small increments. Otherwise life seems like one big run on sentence. In fact, life’s way of getting women to quit talking so much is called a period. (I kid, but it is funny, you gotta admit). All these cycles in life… it’s just dead eggs down the toilet.

A new year is the obvious result of what must be done: Ending.

It doesn’t matter when. It just has to happen sometime.

Call me morbid, call me Debbie Downer, I don’t care. It’s the truth and we all know it.

We’re all gonna die and we need to rehearse one year at a time.

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